I sing a little song around the house with the names of the kids. I admit I bring it out often when I'm about to lose it and I need something to get me back to being kind and positive. We have a few versions:
"I love Dinosaur, I love Rhinoceros, I love Crocodile, I love Daddy B."
"I love Dinosaur, I love Rhinoceros, I love Crocodile, I love Pterodactyl-and-Beetle-and-Caterpillar-and-Cricket-and-Tadpole."
"I love Crocodile, I love his mama, I love his Benny*, I love his sisters."
Lately he's started to request particular versions. You would think it would always be the mama-Benny-sisters version, but sometimes he requests the one that names foster kids he never met. Every time he asks, the look he gives me just melts me. He know they're our "special people" songs.
Whenever my heart aches with emotion when he brings up his mama, his Benny, or his sisters, I sometimes search for words, but at some point I came up with a go-to response that helps me respond right away and helps comfort right away. "Your _____ is/are so special to you." Then of course he starts to echo it, and daily he's talking about how each one is so special.
Crocodile was playing with three cars on a track. "That one has my mama and my Benny and my sisters. That one has Mommy C and Daddy B. That one is just me by myself."
Your family may change, little one, and special people may say goodbye, but you won't be just you by yourself. I won't let that happen.
*His mom's boyfriend, not his real name