Saturday, December 21, 2013

A quick... goodbye?


After all was a sure thing Wednesday, and I sent out an update to our families, Thursday night I got home from work and B asked me if I wanted the emotional rollercoaster news or the funny news.  The funny news was that our eccentric neighbor that has been giving us unusual gifts* gave us a ham.

The rollercoaster news was that Pterodactyl's grandma has daycare.  And she's going there for Christmas.

Why did she miss the deadline?  Was it a misunderstanding?  Did it take that much for her to realize she was really losing her granddaughter?  She is going to be making some sacrifices so that she can have her.  I know she loves her, and I know this is right.  I especially think of her biological brothers, who her grandma has adopted.  The oldest especially has been through a lot of loss and trauma.  To have his baby sister as a gift for Christmas... who can argue with that.

The rollercoaster was irritating and stressful, but the way it all went down, my somber mood on Wednesday with the news she was staying turned into a all-out sob later that night, just a catharsis of all the will-she-or-won't-she-go emotions.  So, the actual goodbye news and goodbye were fairly tearless.  I'd already let it out, even if it was for a different reason.  I've had this happen before with work.  Without going into the long stories, three times as a teacher I was laid off, and each time it was a long will-I-have-a-job-or-won't-I saga, changing all the time.  Every time I ended up with a job at the end, but one of the times when my principal told me that news, I just started crying uncontrollably.  Catharsis.  Hey, at least my family is used to such "nevermind!" sorts of updates.

So, the question mark on the goodbye.  The news wasn't that Pterodactyl is moving... yet.  The caseworker's plan was for her to go to Grandma while we were gone, then she would come here for a short time, then she would move there.  After some time to think, we didn't think that the back-and-forth was best for Pterodactyl.  A transition is one thing, but almost a week in a home, then back for a week (or who knows how long), then back to the other home... she can't explain that this makes it more difficult for her, but I know it would. She would just be settling in, then leaving, then leaving again.  So, we asked if she could move right now.  The caseworker said that wasn't possible for agency-related reasons, but when we get back, it would be possible for her to stay there and make the move official then, without coming back to us.  So, that part is still up in the air, but if she's back, it's for a visit.  We decided it was a goodbye.

I'll write more on the day saying goodbye later, but we need to get on the road soon to Canada and the kids are waking up.

*The first was a public-bathroom-sized refill of antibacterial soap.  Like a huge bag that fits in a dispenser.  He said, "With kids, you need a lot of soap!"

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