I got an e-mail last week asking if we would do respite for Beetle during Spring Break in April. His new foster family had a trip planned and decided that travel and beach time might be pretty rough on him as he's still been very sensitive to light, noise, etc. Plus, I'm sure they'll enjoy giving Beetle's sister and their other child some extra attention since Beetle is pretty high maintenance. I'm excited to see how much he's grown in a month and love that we can still have a connection with this family. It makes me wish for the same kind of opportunity with Pterodactyl, but I need to remember to appreciate this in itself.
Because Beetle will be here for a week, and because I have some extra work hours that week subbing for a co-worker, we're going to wait to go on the call list until after Beetle leaves. I was tempted to just put ourselves on and see what happened, but I am reminded that not all families say yes in the same way and still can contribute a lot. We say yes to only one child at a time and only very young kids. But we are also saying yes to sticking with foster care for a long time. As our bio children get older, we'll say yes to older kids. If we stick to saying yes in a way that makes sense with this plan, we may be preparing ourselves to adopting an older child that otherwise would have never had a permanent family. B and I talked more about this on our drive back from my in-laws' house, and we can't say for sure what we'll do in every case, but we do want to carefully consider that there is a need for experienced foster parents and that there are many parents who would love to adopt young children from foster care.
Though we're still on a bit of a fostering break, I'm done with my online foster communities break. It was tough, but I'm glad I did it. I know I spent more time on my devotions and reading things on other topics. I spent my weekend with my in-laws talking, knitting, and playing with my kids. But I miss keeping up on all your stories, and I do find it lonely. Time with extended family can be especially lonely. I want my foster babies to matter to others, but the truth is that they won't, not in the way that they matter to me, or that their biological grandkids matter to them. It can be hard with some friends as well. I'm sure spending time with me and a baby that is definitely going to grow up with their baby is different than spending time with me and a foster baby that will leave any day. I know none of it is personal and it's not about me, but if I'm honest, I need my connections to foster parents, and I'm going to continue to need them. However, I know I can depend too much on online communities, and this last week was a good reminder that I need my connection to God and to depend on Him first.