Friday, October 24, 2014

My first time in court

You may wonder how with four placements and almost a year and a half of fostering, I had yet to go court as a foster parent.  Well, two of our placements were so brief that either we didn't get to any court dates we felt we should attend.  With Pterodactyl, B did go to court, but I stayed home and just heard secondhand.

But with B having a new job and wanting to avoid time off for a little while, and with the complexity of Cricket's case, I wanted to go this time.  Even though it was likely nothing big would happen, as the court date crept closer, I thought about it a lot.  I was a bundle of nerves.  How can I attend court and it not be extremely awkward with the bio parents?  Doesn't it make it look like we're against them, or clucking our tongues at their mistakes?  When I got there, CPS people were in the hallway chatting and gossiping.  Can I just go in that official-looking courtroom?  Are they waiting for a reason?  Finally I asked and was assured I could just go in, where I found just Cricket's mom waiting by herself at that moment.

Thankfully, small talk with Cricket's mom was positive, and it reassured me that we have a pretty good relationship so far.  Small talk with her dad was more limited for time, and I'm less sure of where we stand, but I hope I came off as friendly and non-threatening.

It was an intense experience for me emotionally, just because I can't help but imagine myself in the shoes of everyone there and what they're going through.  I felt drained and shaky afterward, and I didn't have to do anything, and nothing significant changed for us!  I am glad I went, though I might send B the next time, or try to go together.

So, we keep on keeping on.  There's nothing in the works for Cricket to move anywhere, but as I know, that could always change, even before the next court date.  I continue to pray for a miracle for Cricket and her sister to be together, especially after hearing how her sister is struggling and how she connects it back to missing Cricket.  We will see.

1 comment:

  1. I went to court a few times and always came away with a little more information about Primo's situation than I'd had before. For that reason it was worth it. I also identify with what you wrote regarding feeling empathy for the bio parents, it was not easy, but I always found going to court worthwhile.