I e-mailed the foster family that Beetle moved to. It had been a long time, as she hadn't responded to my last e-mail, and I have a hard time persevering in making contact. My personality tends toward feeling guilty to a fault for inconveniencing people. I was prompted to e-mail her as I saw Beetle had a new baby brother. The new baby went to a relative. I saw some pictures of the new baby via Facebook, and the NICU and wires all brought me right back to last January and February.
I got a reply within a day with photos of Beetle 11 months old, round and still bald and smiling. His foster brother has his arm around him, holding him in place, with his biological sister on the other side of the foster brother. The foster mom says they are closely bonded, happy siblings. I know their lives must have been insane when he moved in right after his sister had moved back in: a traumatized 3-year-old who had been in several homes, a newborn with NAS that was having intense withdrawal symptoms, plus their young biological son. The case is now moving toward adoption, though of course anything can happen.
I keep opening the e-mail, looking at those blue eyes, bright and full of life. It just blows my mind.