Friday, July 17, 2015

The good and the bad

I'll start with the good.  We got travel permission to go out of country!  I'm sorry, that wasn't quite enough after trying this time and this time and this time and another time before I started the blog.  WE GOT TRAVEL PERMISSION TO GO OUT OF COUNTRY!  I'm especially annoyed at the time we tried for it with Cricket that I was told it was "not enough time to go through the proper channels."  We needed it in a month that time, and we got it in less than a month this time.  So, we will visit B's family with three kids and much of his family will experience our family as a foster family for the first time.

The bad is just feeling broken and beaten down by the sadness of foster care.  The visits and the desperate goodbyes with total confusion are killing me.  The cries at any time I separate from him.  The longing the siblings have for each other.  And then I learned more about the case history, and it's devastating.  So much darkness that it's hard to see the light.  I'm having a hard time being myself.  I'm there for the kids, and I'm distracted by work, and then I've got nothing else left.

Even the dark is not dark to You.  The night shines bright as day.

Come, Lord Jesus.

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