I am usually sensitive to the fact that people are busy. Probably oversensitive, and assuming people don't have time to talk to me when really they would enjoy it. I rarely chit-chat unless it's clear that the other person has nothing else to do. But my heart that has loved and bonded to these kids just might be overriding that tendency, because I found myself keeping Pterodactyl's caseworker from using the bathroom while I drew updates out of her.
I didn't mean to. But she opened the door just a tiny bit in asking about our family, and I might have swooped in a little too eagerly. Then I apologized a lot for delaying her.
It was so good, though, to hear that Pterodactyl is doing well. And though still the queen of serious babies, she laughs more, though with the same low-pitched "heh heh heh" that she had started when she was with us.
Her twin siblings might be born any day now. I have a feeling they need prayer for good health and few complications, and prayers for the family they will be with.
I told the caseworker what I had planned to e-mail this week, a reminder that we would love to see Pterodactyl and/or do respite. I still hold a little hope this might happen sometime, but since it's been three months since I've seen her, and knowing how difficult it is to schedule things with her grandma, I know I should probably just let go.
It's hard. I miss her, especially in these times when we're a family of four. I know she was never meant to be mine, but she's pretty solidly mine in my heart.