It's so strange not to be bringing Caterpillar to visits while his mom is in jail, to have three visits per week wiped off the calendar. We even canceled his first overnight visit at the relative's home because he had a fever yesterday morning.
We still have a home visit tomorrow, and I have work, Dinosaur has baseball, B has softball, so it's not overall quiet. But it's foster care quiet.
Still no daycare set up. It's Pterodactyl all over again. I am having the relative schedule doctors' appointments for August by her schedule, so hopefully that means it'll happen by then?
It's not that I want to say goodbye. It's the opposite. I've accepted he's moving, that I won't get to see him crawl, babble, walk, etc. That I won't see the end of the case, however it goes. Now I just want it to happen on my timeline because that makes it easier for me to handle. Less out of my control.
Breathe. Give up my timeline. I think I don't have one, and then it sneaks in. Give up my illusion of control. Enjoy sweet Caterpillar while he's here. Know he's doing well with the transition so far. Breathe.
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