Crocodile was talking about missing his mama. Sometimes we draw pictures for her or we look at a picture of her, but I had a great idea this time. Let's make a video to say hi to her! Then I'll show it to her the next time I can!
Yeah, he misunderstood and thought we were going to WATCH a video of her. And so the video is of him sitting there sadly realizing I don't have a video of her to show him.
This age. They understand and then they don't. We had some good hugs and moved on and I know better for next time.
Showing posts with label lessons learned. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons learned. Show all posts
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Lessons Learned: Videos
It felt strange, taking so many pictures of this newborn that was not mine. Of course it was appropriate and important, as the pictures I took would be the ones of this stage of her life. But at the same time, I felt like I should not be the one with this role. And it honestly did not come naturally, as I was still bonding with her, and I couldn't look forward to sharing the pictures I took with my family and friends. Instead, I handed prints off to parents who may or may not say thank you. I did my best, and we gave her grandma a photo book and CD of the pictures, plus we kept a copy of the photo book. Those photo books have been wonderful for my biological kids to remember and talk about foster children who have been in our home, and those who have received the books as children have moved have been grateful.
But what I did not realize is how much I would treasure the few video clips I had.
I love little videos of my biological kids when they were younger, reminding me of their antics and how they have changed. I sometimes try to interrupt tantrums by taking a video of them, which doesn't always work but provides pretty funny videos for later viewing. But for foster children, I have grasped to these videos like nothing else. There is something about the sound and action that helps reassure me: this was all real. You loved this child with all your heart as he lived in your home, living and breathing. Your house had this little person in it, with all her personality. You can see him in your home. You can see her in your arms, looking around, looking at you.
The photos may be the most important for the child and others, but one lesson I've learned is that the videos are very precious to me, and to take lots of them. Even just sitting and waiting for to pick up Dinosaur has been a good time for it.
But what I did not realize is how much I would treasure the few video clips I had.
I love little videos of my biological kids when they were younger, reminding me of their antics and how they have changed. I sometimes try to interrupt tantrums by taking a video of them, which doesn't always work but provides pretty funny videos for later viewing. But for foster children, I have grasped to these videos like nothing else. There is something about the sound and action that helps reassure me: this was all real. You loved this child with all your heart as he lived in your home, living and breathing. Your house had this little person in it, with all her personality. You can see him in your home. You can see her in your arms, looking around, looking at you.
The photos may be the most important for the child and others, but one lesson I've learned is that the videos are very precious to me, and to take lots of them. Even just sitting and waiting for to pick up Dinosaur has been a good time for it.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
A survival guide to Black hair for Day One
So, you're called for a placement of an African-American girl. Maybe you've read up on caring for her type of hair, but there are so many types of hair and so many different pieces of advice and styles. Now that precious girl is in front of you with her fabulous but unfamiliar-to-you head of hair and you need to leave the house in an hour. What do you do?
Disclaimer: I am white. I am still learning. I haven't styled a wide variety of hair types. You need to find your source of wisdom that is not this white woman. Having someone "on call" is a fantastic idea. Please, any women of color reading, comment and correct me. But I have gleaned a great deal of advice from Black women about basic styles that will help your foster child look cared for. I have thanked those women outside of this blog because of confidentiality issues; they have been incredible.
The main idea is to fall in line with what is in your Black community, however small or large it may be. In my community, the majority of Black girls* do not have free hair or hair just held back with headbands. Where I live, I see that style almost exclusively with daughters of white adoptive parents or biracial daughters with white moms. With daughters with Black parents, hair is commonly parted in medium or large sections and in twists or puffs, it is in box braids with beads, or it is in cornrows, possibly with beads. If you've never paid attention to your community, be very intentional and do so. And if it's anything like mine, starting with large sections in puffs or twists will get you through your first day. Then you can build on that and get hands-on help or have someone braid for you.
Step 1: Prepare before placement with some supplies. I base these on keeping hair from getting too dry using the LOC method and on the simple, surrounding-community-appropriate styles I want to achieve. I'll put pictures of my examples (click the image to read labels more easily) but of course there are many, many options. Go for cheap and basic, and you can always get more fancy and all-natural later.
Step 3: Spray wet and detangle the hair in sections. Use the clips to keep track of what you have detangled. Comb the hair with a generous amount of the leave-in conditioner using the wide-tooth comb. Rub a small amount of oil on your hands and run your fingers through the hair. Then rub the cream on your hands and run that through the hair, with your fingers like a comb. Later, you'll want to do an entire washing routine, but this is day one or two, so I would skip that unless the hair is visibly very dirty. Cricket came with hair that was fairly clean but in need of re-styling. I thought washing was a priority and she was very upset about having her hair washed, as I did it differently than she was used to. I wish I would have just held off a few more days.
Step 4: Part the hair using the wide-tooth comb in one long swoop, then put some grease on your finger and cover the part with it. Go over the part again with the fine tooth comb.
Step 5: Apply the grease to the section you've created. Brush through the hair with the boar brush. Spray again as needed. Apply gel at the base of the section, then comb into a ponytail. Wrap the rubber band (or two or three if it's a large section) around the hair.
Step 6: Repeat until all hair is in sections.
Step 7: Put on "ballies." I do it the second way.
Step 8: Now you can twist each section or leave them as puffs, depending on the length of hair and what you want to do. A puff is just a ponytail left loose. I saw a school-age girl with one puff on top and the back split into two puffs, which is incredibly simple if you can just detangle, part, and secure it. This also works well for babies (and don't forget to look at your community for how babies' hair is styled!). But twists are very popular in my area, which involves just dividing the hair into two sections and twisting them together. It can get more involved than that, but this will work for Day 1.
See the YouTube channel in the link above for some more examples. You can secure those with ballies at the bottom, or I find barrettes better for the length of hair I was working with.
I know this sounds like a lot of steps, but it will get easier, and it is worth the time. You don't have to be perfect, but you can't just randomly attack with ponytail holders and barrettes or leave it free if that's not common in your area. Take it from someone who had to face "you don't know how to do her hair" as the first words from biological family.
*I have less experience with noticing hair of Black boys, but most have hair cropped short, though some have cornrows.
Disclaimer: I am white. I am still learning. I haven't styled a wide variety of hair types. You need to find your source of wisdom that is not this white woman. Having someone "on call" is a fantastic idea. Please, any women of color reading, comment and correct me. But I have gleaned a great deal of advice from Black women about basic styles that will help your foster child look cared for. I have thanked those women outside of this blog because of confidentiality issues; they have been incredible.
The main idea is to fall in line with what is in your Black community, however small or large it may be. In my community, the majority of Black girls* do not have free hair or hair just held back with headbands. Where I live, I see that style almost exclusively with daughters of white adoptive parents or biracial daughters with white moms. With daughters with Black parents, hair is commonly parted in medium or large sections and in twists or puffs, it is in box braids with beads, or it is in cornrows, possibly with beads. If you've never paid attention to your community, be very intentional and do so. And if it's anything like mine, starting with large sections in puffs or twists will get you through your first day. Then you can build on that and get hands-on help or have someone braid for you.
Step 1: Prepare before placement with some supplies. I base these on keeping hair from getting too dry using the LOC method and on the simple, surrounding-community-appropriate styles I want to achieve. I'll put pictures of my examples (click the image to read labels more easily) but of course there are many, many options. Go for cheap and basic, and you can always get more fancy and all-natural later.
- leave-in conditioner
- olive oil (you already have some, right?)
- cream
- grease
- gel
- fine-tooth comb
- wide-tooth comb
- boar brush
- clips for holding hair in sections
- small rubber bands
- "ballies"
- barrettes
Step 3: Spray wet and detangle the hair in sections. Use the clips to keep track of what you have detangled. Comb the hair with a generous amount of the leave-in conditioner using the wide-tooth comb. Rub a small amount of oil on your hands and run your fingers through the hair. Then rub the cream on your hands and run that through the hair, with your fingers like a comb. Later, you'll want to do an entire washing routine, but this is day one or two, so I would skip that unless the hair is visibly very dirty. Cricket came with hair that was fairly clean but in need of re-styling. I thought washing was a priority and she was very upset about having her hair washed, as I did it differently than she was used to. I wish I would have just held off a few more days.
Step 4: Part the hair using the wide-tooth comb in one long swoop, then put some grease on your finger and cover the part with it. Go over the part again with the fine tooth comb.
Step 5: Apply the grease to the section you've created. Brush through the hair with the boar brush. Spray again as needed. Apply gel at the base of the section, then comb into a ponytail. Wrap the rubber band (or two or three if it's a large section) around the hair.
Step 6: Repeat until all hair is in sections.
Step 7: Put on "ballies." I do it the second way.
Step 8: Now you can twist each section or leave them as puffs, depending on the length of hair and what you want to do. A puff is just a ponytail left loose. I saw a school-age girl with one puff on top and the back split into two puffs, which is incredibly simple if you can just detangle, part, and secure it. This also works well for babies (and don't forget to look at your community for how babies' hair is styled!). But twists are very popular in my area, which involves just dividing the hair into two sections and twisting them together. It can get more involved than that, but this will work for Day 1.
See the YouTube channel in the link above for some more examples. You can secure those with ballies at the bottom, or I find barrettes better for the length of hair I was working with.
I know this sounds like a lot of steps, but it will get easier, and it is worth the time. You don't have to be perfect, but you can't just randomly attack with ponytail holders and barrettes or leave it free if that's not common in your area. Take it from someone who had to face "you don't know how to do her hair" as the first words from biological family.
*I have less experience with noticing hair of Black boys, but most have hair cropped short, though some have cornrows.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Lesson Learned: Seeing a Former Foster Kid in Public
We went to a pool as a family and were swimming around when I saw her. A girl that reminded me a lot of Caterpillar's sister. Then across the pool, I saw a man holding a baby. Caterpillar.
I had heard from his caseworker that he did end up in a home where he could be with his sister like the agency hoped. I told her to pass on our information to that family, and that we would be happy to talk with them or do respite sometime. I hadn't heard anything further.
I went to B, stumbling over my words with excitement. Without really talking about it, he knew I wanted him to go up and introduce himself. I kind of hovered nearby, imagining he would wave me over and I'd have a joyful little reunion with Caterpillar. Well, we totally freaked out the foster dad and his body language showed he didn't really want to talk with us. So, we backed off.
Our kids kept ending up playing near each other, though, so inevitably later we were close by each other. I apologized for the awkwardness and he said he was just really worried about confidentiality, so being asked if he was the foster dad made him really uncomfortable. Of course. We had a little small talk about hair, how long we'd fostered, and I got to smile at Caterpillar a bit. My arms longed to hold him and bring him closer, but clearly this was not the situation to be pushy.
So, in the future, I would start with, "Hi, I'm a foster parent, and I recognized Caterpillar because he used to live in our home!" No questions to be answered, just immediately making ourselves clear.
And yes, it was so, so good to see him.
I had heard from his caseworker that he did end up in a home where he could be with his sister like the agency hoped. I told her to pass on our information to that family, and that we would be happy to talk with them or do respite sometime. I hadn't heard anything further.
I went to B, stumbling over my words with excitement. Without really talking about it, he knew I wanted him to go up and introduce himself. I kind of hovered nearby, imagining he would wave me over and I'd have a joyful little reunion with Caterpillar. Well, we totally freaked out the foster dad and his body language showed he didn't really want to talk with us. So, we backed off.
Our kids kept ending up playing near each other, though, so inevitably later we were close by each other. I apologized for the awkwardness and he said he was just really worried about confidentiality, so being asked if he was the foster dad made him really uncomfortable. Of course. We had a little small talk about hair, how long we'd fostered, and I got to smile at Caterpillar a bit. My arms longed to hold him and bring him closer, but clearly this was not the situation to be pushy.
So, in the future, I would start with, "Hi, I'm a foster parent, and I recognized Caterpillar because he used to live in our home!" No questions to be answered, just immediately making ourselves clear.
And yes, it was so, so good to see him.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Lesson Learned: Hair Breaks and Hair Blogs
Three weeks ago, I spent more than I've ever spent at a salon for myself and paid to have someone do cornrows on Cricket's hair. It turned out adorable and Cricket's mom loved it, but the main reason was that I just needed a break to regroup. With inconsistent visits, her mom is no longer styling her hair, and I had been burned out on sometimes planning on her doing it, then having to throw something together, then it not looking so great. The break I got from having someone else do a 3-week style totally worked, as now I have new energy and am even looking forward to tomorrow's hair session. I'm going to do the same veil style with two puffs in the back that I did before, but this time with braids instead of twists. Then the next week I'm looking forward to trying something new.
Part of looking forward to new styles comes with finding the right way to do hair research. I've found great sites like Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. I bought her book (which I found even more helpful for a beginner than the site) as well as It's All Good Hair and have learned a lot. But I think the hardest part is that the advice and style ideas are so diverse that very few fit Cricket's hair, which is not that long yet.
I just found a complete breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed to get going again. A blog by a beginner with a child of the same age and similar hair length and type. I can read about what she tried and be reassured that it's trial and error. I can see what works and feel more confident that it will work for her hair length. The blog is no longer updated, but Shades of Violet circa 2011 is a parallel styling journey with me and Cricket. So excited to try some of these styles that I feel I can actually handle and be fairly successful with. I can do this! And as in one of my previous lessons learned, if I find I can't, I'll ask for help. Please chime in with any hair journey blogs that have been helpful for you!
Part of looking forward to new styles comes with finding the right way to do hair research. I've found great sites like Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. I bought her book (which I found even more helpful for a beginner than the site) as well as It's All Good Hair and have learned a lot. But I think the hardest part is that the advice and style ideas are so diverse that very few fit Cricket's hair, which is not that long yet.
I just found a complete breath of fresh air, exactly what I needed to get going again. A blog by a beginner with a child of the same age and similar hair length and type. I can read about what she tried and be reassured that it's trial and error. I can see what works and feel more confident that it will work for her hair length. The blog is no longer updated, but Shades of Violet circa 2011 is a parallel styling journey with me and Cricket. So excited to try some of these styles that I feel I can actually handle and be fairly successful with. I can do this! And as in one of my previous lessons learned, if I find I can't, I'll ask for help. Please chime in with any hair journey blogs that have been helpful for you!
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Lesson Learned - Home Visit Timing
We had an annual licensing visit today. We were toying with the idea of going to an event at church tonight, so I scheduled it for the moment that B would get home from work and I would be coming in the door with the kids from getting Dinosaur from school. Everyone's there! Perfect! And she was right on time!
Perfect disaster. When we walk in the door, the kids simultaneously need seven things. And I need to set them up with something to do while we talk with the licensing worker. Plus I had forgotten that Dinosaur goes into turbo crazy mode when we have a visitor. I knew Cricket wouldn't leave my side, but I hoped the older two would chill and enjoy some time away from Cricket. Nope, drawn to the living room like a moth to a flame. I tried to speak in coherent sentences while we navigated behavioral consequences and random unsafe behavior like tapping a lightbulb with a marker because it made a cool sound. It was so chaotic that I am sort of expecting someone to follow up with us, either in a nice way, like offering support, or in a critical way, like an investigation. It did not make me feel like I was an A+ parent today. B says it wasn't really our fault and everyone knows that kids can be crazy with visitors sometimes, but I have hard time believing that we couldn't have diffused it somehow, because that's just the kind of person I am. And it's stressing me out.
From now on, 10-15 minutes buffer time for settling in. A show will be playing. Plan B and Plan C will be set up in case of failure.
Perfect disaster. When we walk in the door, the kids simultaneously need seven things. And I need to set them up with something to do while we talk with the licensing worker. Plus I had forgotten that Dinosaur goes into turbo crazy mode when we have a visitor. I knew Cricket wouldn't leave my side, but I hoped the older two would chill and enjoy some time away from Cricket. Nope, drawn to the living room like a moth to a flame. I tried to speak in coherent sentences while we navigated behavioral consequences and random unsafe behavior like tapping a lightbulb with a marker because it made a cool sound. It was so chaotic that I am sort of expecting someone to follow up with us, either in a nice way, like offering support, or in a critical way, like an investigation. It did not make me feel like I was an A+ parent today. B says it wasn't really our fault and everyone knows that kids can be crazy with visitors sometimes, but I have hard time believing that we couldn't have diffused it somehow, because that's just the kind of person I am. And it's stressing me out.
From now on, 10-15 minutes buffer time for settling in. A show will be playing. Plan B and Plan C will be set up in case of failure.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Lesson Learned: Get that doctor visit in
It's not like I didn't try to get a doctor visit in quickly. Here's how it happened for this placement:
Day 1: Child placed in our home
Day 5: Home visit with caseworker was supposed to happen but cancelled
Day 6: Home visit, find out the clinic where Cricket has gone to a doctor, but not the actual name of the doctor.
Day 8: Call clinic to schedule an appointment and told to deliver or fax paperwork before scheduling appointment. Intend to drop off paperwork on a day clinic is open, but I'm overwhelmed with our family's adjustment, and I just can't do it.
Day 12: B faxes paperwork. Clinic is supposed to call within two days.
Day 14: No call from clinic.
Day 15: Cricket needs to go to the ER, and I am kicking myself for not having more medical and information and history that I would have gotten from the initial doctor visit.
There are some weekends in there that spaced it all out. No one seemed to blame me, but I just really wish I had seen her doctor before I was bringing her to the ER. Next time, I'm going to ask who the doctor is when I am scheduling the home visit with the caseworker. I had it on my list of questions to ask at the home visit, but I shouldn't wait.
Thankfully, Cricket is stable now and just needs to get through this virus. And our wonderful neighbor took Dinosaur and Rhinoceros. I only asked her to take Dinosaur for half an hour then watch him get on the bus for school, but she offered to take Rhinoceros. That made what could have been an unbearable morning just a busy morning. It was even a blessing I could have lots of time blocked off to cuddle Cricket.
Check that off my parenting experience list: I have now taken a child to the ER.
Day 1: Child placed in our home
Day 5: Home visit with caseworker was supposed to happen but cancelled
Day 6: Home visit, find out the clinic where Cricket has gone to a doctor, but not the actual name of the doctor.
Day 8: Call clinic to schedule an appointment and told to deliver or fax paperwork before scheduling appointment. Intend to drop off paperwork on a day clinic is open, but I'm overwhelmed with our family's adjustment, and I just can't do it.
Day 12: B faxes paperwork. Clinic is supposed to call within two days.
Day 14: No call from clinic.
Day 15: Cricket needs to go to the ER, and I am kicking myself for not having more medical and information and history that I would have gotten from the initial doctor visit.
There are some weekends in there that spaced it all out. No one seemed to blame me, but I just really wish I had seen her doctor before I was bringing her to the ER. Next time, I'm going to ask who the doctor is when I am scheduling the home visit with the caseworker. I had it on my list of questions to ask at the home visit, but I shouldn't wait.
Thankfully, Cricket is stable now and just needs to get through this virus. And our wonderful neighbor took Dinosaur and Rhinoceros. I only asked her to take Dinosaur for half an hour then watch him get on the bus for school, but she offered to take Rhinoceros. That made what could have been an unbearable morning just a busy morning. It was even a blessing I could have lots of time blocked off to cuddle Cricket.
Check that off my parenting experience list: I have now taken a child to the ER.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Lesson Learned: Hair Care
If you think you might not be great at hair care for ethnic backgrounds different from your own, and you have trouble learning things without being physically shown, do not assume you can learn it all from the internet. Do not assume that asking advice will be enough. Ask someone to come help you. Before the birth mom sees her daughter and tells you as her first words to you, "You don't know what to do with her hair, do you."
I thought I tried, or at least that it wasn't THAT bad. I should have known to ask for more help. I'm not even good at white girl hair. My hair has been short for over a decade, and I have two sons. I went home and sent a message to an adoptive mom that I think can help or at least point me to someone. If that falls through, I know someone else who offered to help in the past, but I have to find her number again.
Between that and having to practically pry Cricket from her mom's arms to leave, with her wailing all the way out of the office, I am feeling low, small, and crushed in spirit.
Thank God I went to church on Sunday and was preached the truth about insecurities and having a spirit of fear. I'm speaking those truths to myself over and over. And just calling His name, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
I thought I tried, or at least that it wasn't THAT bad. I should have known to ask for more help. I'm not even good at white girl hair. My hair has been short for over a decade, and I have two sons. I went home and sent a message to an adoptive mom that I think can help or at least point me to someone. If that falls through, I know someone else who offered to help in the past, but I have to find her number again.
Between that and having to practically pry Cricket from her mom's arms to leave, with her wailing all the way out of the office, I am feeling low, small, and crushed in spirit.
Thank God I went to church on Sunday and was preached the truth about insecurities and having a spirit of fear. I'm speaking those truths to myself over and over. And just calling His name, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Lesson Learned: Move Details
I carefully planned Caterpillar's move to his relative today by getting Rhinoceros down for an early nap. I'd prepped them that we were going to Ms. Teri's* house to say goodbye to Caterpillar. Then about 30 minutes before "move time" B asked when he was being picked up, and I thought, hm, picked up? Is that a possibility instead of me bringing him there?
I called Ms. Teri and yep, that's what was happening. I'd just assumed I was bringing him there as that's how Pterodactyl's move happened (sort of, we met at the agency parking lot after hours). Beetle's move was meeting at a doctor's appointment. But it was good I called, because she had some questions for me that she might not have called just to ask. So, in the future, I'll ask how the move is planned to go, and then I can give my input (I would have preferred to bring him there).
And how did it go? As numb and strange as usual. I soothed Rhinoceros's disappointment (he's obsessed with going to Ms. Teri's house though he's never been inside it) with a trip for ice cream, just two kids in the minivan. Goodbye, Caterpillar.
*not her real name
I called Ms. Teri and yep, that's what was happening. I'd just assumed I was bringing him there as that's how Pterodactyl's move happened (sort of, we met at the agency parking lot after hours). Beetle's move was meeting at a doctor's appointment. But it was good I called, because she had some questions for me that she might not have called just to ask. So, in the future, I'll ask how the move is planned to go, and then I can give my input (I would have preferred to bring him there).
And how did it go? As numb and strange as usual. I soothed Rhinoceros's disappointment (he's obsessed with going to Ms. Teri's house though he's never been inside it) with a trip for ice cream, just two kids in the minivan. Goodbye, Caterpillar.
*not her real name
Friday, May 16, 2014
Lessons Learned: WIC
Foster children qualify for WIC, which is especially helpful for infants on formula. Your own WIC experience may vary, but here's what I learned today at an appointment for Caterpillar: foster families are a "household." So, even though we qualify specifically on behalf of the child, not our income, the WIC accounts are considered by households. What this means is that I shouldn't have cut up and thrown out my old card from when I had Pterodactyl, because it can be reloaded with benefits for a different child. Instead, they wrote down that I lost the card and I look irresponsible. (Okay, I lose a lot of cards, but I didn't lose that one!) It also means that it's relevant to say that you have had other foster children on WIC in the past when you call about benefits for subsequent foster kids. I could have saved some time, as they scheduled me for an appointment designed for foster parents new to WIC. When they realized this, they cut it short.
Also, they stick very closely to age for the check-ups or whatever you call them, so I have to go back again with Caterpillar even though he was within a couple weeks of the next age milestone. Had I known that, I probably would have just waited until that appointment to come in at all.
On the bright side, our WIC office is pretty awesome, with toys not just in the waiting room but in the exam rooms. Rhinoceros thinks it's a fun place to go, and they are pretty helpful and quick.
Also, as a follow-up to Lesson Learned: Pacifier: Caterpillar's mom said she got it from a Pregnancy Resource Center, so she has no idea what brand it is. Thankfully, he is accepting the Avent Classic ones that are pretty similar. Thanks, Karen!
Also, they stick very closely to age for the check-ups or whatever you call them, so I have to go back again with Caterpillar even though he was within a couple weeks of the next age milestone. Had I known that, I probably would have just waited until that appointment to come in at all.
On the bright side, our WIC office is pretty awesome, with toys not just in the waiting room but in the exam rooms. Rhinoceros thinks it's a fun place to go, and they are pretty helpful and quick.
Also, as a follow-up to Lesson Learned: Pacifier: Caterpillar's mom said she got it from a Pregnancy Resource Center, so she has no idea what brand it is. Thankfully, he is accepting the Avent Classic ones that are pretty similar. Thanks, Karen!
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Lesson Learned: Pacifiers
I thought of a new series: little mistakes in our foster care life that I vow not to repeat.
Lesson #1: When your foster child arrives with a pacifier, take a picture of it. Otherwise, you will intend to buy extras, but not bring it along and buy the wrong ones, which will be soundly rejected. You intend to take it along and go shopping, but don't get around to it. Pacifier goes missing. Baby hates all replacements. Trying to search online for "pacifier with a straight nipple and maybe some ocean-related design" will not be successful. I'm just praying when we meet the birth mom she has more.
The More You Know!
Lesson #1: When your foster child arrives with a pacifier, take a picture of it. Otherwise, you will intend to buy extras, but not bring it along and buy the wrong ones, which will be soundly rejected. You intend to take it along and go shopping, but don't get around to it. Pacifier goes missing. Baby hates all replacements. Trying to search online for "pacifier with a straight nipple and maybe some ocean-related design" will not be successful. I'm just praying when we meet the birth mom she has more.
The More You Know!
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