Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Birthday parties
This isn't my usual thing, but anyone who has celebrated a birthday with a foster child ever, please tell me in the comments what you did and if/how biological family members were involved. I've got a start in planning, but keep second-guessing myself and thinking of other ideas. Thank you for your help!
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Primo's parents were never involved in the birthday parties he had while he was a foster child. I would think it really depends on the case and your relationship with the parents as to if you involve them. We could never have Primo's parents to our home, despite having a fairly good relationship with them. If you plan a party in public place maybe you can invite them. The other big factor is how or if Cricket's parents or relatives will trigger her? I always involved Primo's brothers and their foster (now adoptive) families. I always gave lots of party photos to Primo's parents.
ReplyDeleteI think the trigger factor is big, especially as there are siblings I want to be there who could potentially have different reactions.... that's a lot of unpredictability. Cricket does "shut down" sometimes around mom no matter how much she loves her, and that would be hard for everyone during a party.
DeleteWe only had one child in care on their (first) birthday. My grandparents came over, and there was decorations/cake/gifts/photos. Bio family was thrilled to see photos afterwards and couldn't believe we actually celebrated her birthday. There weren't many visits in that case, but if it was a case where there was more visits, then maybe arranging a birthday party at the visit office could be done? Are you comfortable having the family that Cricket will be living with come to your home for a visit? Could be really helpful for the transition, and helpful for them to see her in the environment she's been living in/gotten used to (even though she'll probably be anything but "normal" during a birthday party)
ReplyDeleteI like how you think for inviting the new family to our home, though it didn't work out this time as the party is also for her sister and her sister wanted to invite a few friends. How sad that families would think that foster families wouldn't celebrate birthdays. Thank you for sharing!
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